


Curse and Blessing

by Cucumalec



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood & Maia Roberts Friendship, Alternate Universe - High School, Friendship, M/M, Student Alec Lightwood, Teacher Magnus Bane, Teacher-Student Relationship, Warlock Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-26 19:29:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18723475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cucumalec/pseuds/Cucumalec
Summary: Alec Lightwood tries to be a normal student until one day, this new history teacher turns his world upside down. Not only is he ridiciously attractive but there is something about him... It's Like Mr Bane knows something about Alec that he doesn't even understand himself. When Mr Bane keeps pushing Alec, he can't avoid his feelings and his past any longer, but he won't have to face it on his own.





	1. Chapter 1

„Whatever you think you know about our history is wrong. I want you all to throw your books away and listen to me instead.”

Alec looks up from his desk in confusion.  _This definitely isn’t Mr. Bricks._  Several students start whispering, obviously just as clueless as him. 

“I am Mister Bane and I am going to teach you the truth if you’re willing to accept it.”, Mr. Bane continues.

Alec shifts into his seat, unsure whether this is some kind of bad joke or simply a lunatic. When he gives Maia  a look, she just shrugs her shoulders and smirks. Maia is (just like all the other students) happy that at least _something_  is happening. Everyday life can be so boring sometimes that a new teacher is enough to get everyone excited. Other days a squirrel or a few snowflakes are enough to get everyone's attention. Mr Bane doesn't even wait until everyone calms down, but simply continues talking. It's like he is used to people respecting him by nature.

 “Who can tell me something about Winston Churchill? That old rogue.”,  Mr Bane says and laughs as if speaking of an old friend. He looks around like a guide in a big City looking for a group of tourist.

Of course, everyone immediately stares down at the desk or hides behind their history book, so the teacher won’t ask them. Alec on the other hand does the complete opposite. He stares at him. Mr.Bane looks different from anyone Alec has ever seen around here. He is not like all the other people in the town that desperately try to fit in. No, in fact it is more like the complete opposite: he wants to stand out. From his dark makeup and blonde streaks in his dark hair to the tight fitted leather jeans that show off his figure perfectly. Overall he seems to have a pretty nice body.Alec is simply glad he doesn’t have to get up until the end of the lessons, because that would be rather awkward now.

“Alexander?”, Mr Bane says, and Alec feels like someone just caught him watching porn. “Can _you_ tell me something about Winston Churchill?”

Alec tries to think of anything to say. He really tries. History is his favorite subject after all, but when he opens his mouth the words simply won’t come out. Instead he feels the hot blood rush through his body until it reaches his face. Mister Bane stretches the awkward silence for a few more seconds, then he turns his attention to someone else and Alec breathes out in relief.

“You okay? Do you want me to bring you a glass of cold water?”, Maia asks him, which causes him to come back to reality.

“Shut up.”, he answers and Maia laughs. Dam it, she will never let him live down on that.

 The rest of the lesson passes without any other interruptions, in fact Magnus just talks about Winston Churchills bad luck to get into accidents for most of the time. Overall, he is more of a story teller than a history teacher. But to be honest his voice is so soothing that Alec really doesn’t care whether he is lying or not. The lesson ends much to early and Alec puts the (untouched) history book back in his shoulder bag. On his way out, Alec notices Mr. Bane watching him once again, and he stops abruptly. Fortunately, Maia drags him out of the room before Alec can do something incredibly stupid like asking out his teacher in front of the whole class.

It’s Friday afternoon and everyone leaves the building as soon as possible. They make their way through the masses of students until they are finally out in the open.

Why does Mr Bane have such an effect on him?  Why does Alec feel like he was watching him? Is that just wishful thinking? Is it disgusting that he wants to sleep with him? How old is he anyway? Does he have a boyfriend? Oh, God, what if he's not gay at all? Alec takes a deep breath, somewhat slightly embarrassed by his own thoughts.  He blinks a few times and realizes they are walking through the park towards their bench. The one placed directly in front of the basketball court. They always used to play there when they were smaller, but Alec grew a lot over the past few years and Maia thinks this gives him an “unfair advantage”. But they still hang out a lot here after school. This is one of the reasons he likes Maia, she always understands him. Doesn’t make him talk, but still shows him she is willing to listen. They sit down and Maia searches her bag until she finds the little red box. For a while they simply watch the others play. At times it looks more like sumo wrestling than a basketball game.

“So this Bane Guy. What’s up with him? Is he even a real teacher?”, Maia asks and gives him a glimpse.

“He is not that bad. Just unconventional.”, Alec answers. It’s a straight out lie. Mr. Bane is probably the worst teacher he has ever seen.

“Sure you’re not just thinking with your dick again?”, Maia says as she tries to light her cigarette.

Before she manages to do that Alec takes it out of her hand and throws it away.

“Seriously dude? They are fucking expensive.”, she says and shows him her middlefinger.

“Good. Then quit”, Alec answers.

Before they can have this discussion for the hundredth of times, they get interrupted by Maia’s Minions: Clary and Simon. They hug Maia eagerly and Alec nods to them approvingly. They are annoying but they are less bad than most people. He even slides a little aside to make room for them. Soon they all start talking about their day and Alec zones out. And if his thoughts wander back to Mr. Bane's tight pants and his beautiful face, nobody can prove it.

“Oh, my god guys. My mom isn’t home at the weekend and I thought we could binge watch all-“, Simon almost screams out which cause Alec to come back to reality.

“No.”, Alec interrupts him and Simon shuts up immediately. It’s ridiculous, but that boy is somehow scared of him.

“Okay, what do you suggest we do this weekend instead?”, Clary asks.

Compromising as always. That is one of the reasons why he can’t fully trust her. She always tries to be so nice and understanding, although he is a huge jerk most of the time. Why would anyone _want_ to make friends with him? Simon and Clary, they were different. They would never truly get along with Alec so he simply doesn’t want to waste their time- and his own. Alec just shrugs his shoulders. Spending some time alone, finishing this one book about Steve Jobs and maybe learn for the test next Tuesday sound like a good plan for the weekend.

“So Game of Thrones on Saturday?”, Simon asks once he realizes Alec wont suggest anything.

It’s exactly what Alec means when he says he doesn’t want to waste their time. He is not part of their group. Sure, they hang out a lot at school, but he prefers to be on his own. Or hang out with Maia, when he feels like it. Because she knows him. Really knows him. She knows he is rude and antisocial and mean, but she still for some reason likes him and Alec always accepted that he couldn’t change her opinion about him. No matter how hard he tried, she always chose to stick around. But with Clary and Simon… It’s different. They don’t really know him. Not the way Maia does. They are barley more than people he occasionally talks to at school.

“Are you coming Saturday, Alec?”, Clary asks him, and her friendly smile annoys him yet again.

Why does she always have to be so nice? That is not normal, right?

“No. I’m- I’m busy.”, he answers.

Technically it’s not a lie, because he does have plans for the weekend. If you considered reading and homework as plans for the weekend.

“Busy? With what? Thinking about Mr. Bane?”, Maia says and bumps her shoulder against Alec’s, but before he can answer anything Simon interrupts them.

“Are you talking about Mr. Hottest-Teacher-Alive?”, Simon asks a bit to eagerly for his taste.

“Careful, Alec. You’ve got competition.”, Maia says and laughs.

Simon studies Alec’s face for a few seconds before he slowly shakes his head and explains that he quits the game, because he doesn’t stand a chance. Alec doesn’t really understand what’s going on, but he still feels strangely relieved.

They stay at the bench for quite some time and enjoy the carefree mood everyone experiences on a Friday afternoon, two days of freedom in sight. Somehow Clary convinces everyone to play basketball and even Maia joins the game. When it gets dark a few hours later, Alec is terribly sweaty and strangely happy at the same time. Maybe they are not really his friends, but they are good people, nonetheless. They say goodbye and Alec takes the longer way and just savors the cool air on his warm skin.

When he finally comes home he wants nothing more than to take a cold shower and go to bed. But when he walks past the kitchen his father calls him inside. Alec tries not to sigh, after all he knows he only means well.

“Hey kiddo.”, Luke says and looks up from the newspaper. He looks slightly worried, but then again, when doesn’t he? It is as if every problem of every single student burdens Luke personally.

”How was school?”, he asks.

“Good.”, Alec answers and hopes that it’s enough.

But when he turns around, ready to head upstairs, Luke calls for his name. This time he doesn't bother to hold back and moans loudly. Luke is nice. But he always- _always_ \- wants to make Alec talk about his feelings. He means well, but Alec is 19 years old. He is an adult and he doesn’t need anyone’s help anymore. He turns around and tries to give Luke a smile he knows it not really convincing.

“So did you meet that new teacher mister Bane? I thought he could help you with- everything.”, Luke explains and makes a vague hand gesture.

Is this some kind of bad joke? What the hell is going on with everyone?

“Are you trying to set me up with my history teacher?”, Alec asks, and this makes Luke tilt his head in confusion.

“No. I am not. Why would I do that? I’d have to fire him.”, Luke answers and Alec takes a deep breath.

Luke never really cared about Alec’s sexuality, when he came out to him 4 years ago, he just shrugged his shoulders and said _Cool. I am glad for you_ and contiued eating his pizza. He’d never cared about this part of Alec's life, so he would not start to have a problem with his sexuality all the sudden. Alec has just been a bit dense for- well, for the past 19 years or so. Luke isn’t judging him. Never had.

“Then what are you talking about?”, Alec asks but when he looks into Luke’s eyes he suddenly doesn't want to hear the answer. Because deep down, he somewhat knows, what this about. He turns around and walks upstairs as fast as possible. When Luke calls his name again, Alec choses to ignore him this time. His heart beats incredibly fast and cold sweat drips down his back. He runs into the bathroom and closes the door, before he lets himself sink onto the ground. This is wrong. He is not even allowed to _think_ about this. This is wrong. This wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

He feels like he's gonna be struck by lightning any minute now . Every cell of his body is charged, his hair is upright.

_Oh god. Not again._

He hears Luke’s voice inside of his head telling him to breathe in slowly. He tries to do that. Again and again. He feels like this little helpless little child once again. But he continues to concentrate on his breath and soon he manages to calm down to some extent. After a few more minutes he gets up and looks into the mirror. He hates this weak vulnerable person with these red eyes and dark circles underneath, looking back at him. This is not who he wants to be. He wants to be strong but apparently all he _can_ be is tired. He drags himself into his room and crashes onto his bed. He passes out almost instantly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angry Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reuplooooad. Sorry

The weekend passes exactly the way Alec wants it to: productive and without any further interruptions. Well, for the most part at least. A few times Luke knocks at his door, but when Alec doesn't answer, he always stops eventually. Alec hates it how Luke always treats him like this fragile little child that- he is not! At least not anymore. Luke really has to understand this. If Alec ever wants to become an adult, than he has to figure all of this out on his own.

But besides Luke being Luke he enjoys the weekend. Alec does all of his homework for the entire week, finishes his book and watches this (historically inaccurate) series about WWII . On Sunday he works out so hard, that his trembling legs can barely carry his weight afterwards. But once he's home,he doesn't take a rest,insteadt he washes the laundry and irons Luke's shirts until not a single imperfection is left. The more things Alec does, the better he feels. It's people who exhaust him, not hard work.

But he almost overthinks this statement on Monday morning when his whole body aches as if he fought a bunch of demons all weekend long. Okay, maybe he has pushed his limits a little to far this time, but he feels weirdly good about this at the same time. Alec gets out of bed and looks into the mirror next to his open closet. He is not sure which of these two things looks darker: his collection of different black shirts or the deep shadows under his eyes. All he wants to do right now is crawl back into his bed until the world around him stops being so damn tiring. Alec shakes his head, he just needs to pull himself together. He runs his fingers through his hair multiple times and puts on one of his black shirts. His mirror image looks back at him in disappointment.

When he walks into the kitchen Luke is already sitting at the table and hands Alec a cup of coffee silently. Alec takes his phone out and reads the latest news and thankfully Luke doesn’t try to make him talk this time. Alec enjoys the silence. It gives him time to prepare for another week of bullshit at school. He finishes his toast and pours himself a second cup of coffee.

“Hey, big guy. I’ll give you ride.”, Luke breaks the silence eventually

Well, fuck. If there is one thing Alec doesn’t need on a Monday morning it’s being trapped inside a car, while Luke gives him the Worried-father-Speech .

“Thanks. But I’ll just walk.”,Alec says carefully.

It’s still worth a try.

“This is not a request.”, Luke says in his deep and intimidating voice that he also uses on problematic students. Alec gulps before he gives in and nods. There is no point in arguing now.

Once Alec finishes his coffee, they go outside and sit down in the car next to each other. Usually, Alec really likes their Van. The familiar smell of greasy fast food and coarse leather envelops him immediately. This feels more like home than anything else ever did. When Alec thinks about it, he probably spent most of his life in this car. At the time it was just Luke and him carefully observing the landscape passing by the windows. They drove more often than they stopped, never spending more than a few months in one place. That was until one day Luke fell in love with this town and its boring people and its boring woods. Luckily, he had met Maia shortly afterwards. Without her, he would have gone crazy long ago.

Alec looks at Luke who is deeply lost in thoughts. His forehead is covered with wrinkles, as always when he is worrying to much. Alec doesnt even know what Lukes face looks like when he is happy anymore.

"Look, Alec. I'm worried.", Luke finally admits.

" There we go again."

He doesn’t want Luke to worry about him. It’s not his job to worry about him. Maybe there really is something wrong with Alec. But then it’s his own fault which means he is the only one who can make it better. He doesn’t need Luke’s help and he most definitely doesn’t want it.

“What do you mean?”, Luke asks.

“You always to this.”

“Well, what else am I supposed to do? You barley talk to me anymore. You always want to be on your own. But I can see that you're suffering. ”, Luke says, clinging his hands tightly to the steering wheel.

“ I’m justn...growing up.”, Alec says but neither of them truly believes it. An unpleasant silence spreads between them. When they reach the parking lot Luke gives it one last try:

“ I’m sorry. I know this is all my fault. I tried so hard to do the right thing, that I never even once questioned anything she made me do. And you were the one who had to accept the consequences.”

Alec clenches his teeth . It's what Luke always does. Admiting bits and pieces of the past but never really telling the full truth. Always holding back but at the same time making Alec feel guilty that he doesn't trust him. Sometimes he feels like he doesn't even know his father. Something has always been between them. Keeping them apart for longer than Alec can remember. 

“Stop it. Okay? Stop acting like you’re my father, because you’re not.”, Alec yells, and he immediately regrets the words, when he sees the hurt in Luke’s face. Alec doesn’t know what to say and the longer he waits, the worse it gets. Silence spreads between them. Horrible silence.

“I gotta go.”, Alec mumbles eventually as he leaves the car. Okay, this time he seriously fucked up. He walks past the few students in front of the school building without greeting any of them. Clary and Simon look somewhat hurt.

Great. Add them to the list of people you treat like shit.

Why the hell can’t he just talk about his problems, like anyone else? Why does he always have to be this huge asshole? Why can't he just talk to his father like every other normal kid? All he can ever do is disappoint people, push them away and make the feel miserable. Why can't anyone understand that? Why can't Luke just leave him alone? Why can’t everyone?

Alec’s heartbeat accelerate as his hot blood shoots through his veins. His vison becomes somewhat blurry.Then he feels this strange electricity spreading through his body again.

Oh god, he is losing control again. It’s the second time in less than 3 days. Things are getting out of hand. He rushes through the hallway and tries to find the closest bathroom. This day just keeps getting worse and worse and- 

“Alexander!”

Alec stops, immediately recognizing the deep smooth voice .

Calm down, Alec. Conceal, don’t feel. You’ve got this.

Alec takes a few deep breath, before he turns around. Mr. Bane smiles at him and some part of his brain recognizes that his teacher wears a tight-fitting burgundy shirt which shows off his toned body. It is more than Alec can deal with, right now.

“How was your weekend?”, Magnus asks and even a simple question like this sounds almost persuasive coming out of his mouth. But to be fair Alec is sure every word escaping his beautiful lips sounds somewhat persuasive.

Alec wonders why someone like Mr. Bane even bothers to talk to him. He doesn’t understand it and he simply really can’t deal with it right now. Why cant everybody just back off for one single day?!

“What do you care?”, Alec hisses.

Magnus blinks a few times in confusion then he presses his lips together firmly before he walks past Alec without losing another word.

Congratulations, he thinks, you’re doing a great job at being an asshole once again.

For a few more seconds Alec just stands there in the hallway until realizes that having a bad day isn’t a good enough excuse to skip classes after all.

After the lessons Maia makes them go outside and Alec can tell that she knows something is up with him today. They try to escape the burning sun and sit down under some trees. Maia tells him about her weekend and she even bitches a little about Simon, something that usually always brightens Alec’s mood. But not today. Then silence spreads between them. She doesn’t try to make him talk, because she knows this never works. Instead, she waits. She lightens her cigarette and Alec watches her for some time, trying to find the right words.

“Why am I always such an asshole?”, he asks eventually. She takes another deep breath of her cigarette, so she doesn’t have to answer straight away.

“You’re not an asshole. You just like to act like one.”, Maia says carefully. Alec isn’t completely sure he understands what she means by that. How could you act like an asshole but not be one at same time? It doesn’t make sense. But before he can ask Maia, Simon and Clary sit down next to them. He moans because he wants to be alone with Maia, but whatever. School isn’t the best place to be alone.

Or maybe it is, he thinks, when they start talking about game of thrones. Alec just takes his bag and walks inside.

The rest of the day passes by slowly, mostly because Alec hates biology and chemistry. But he somehow manages to get through the day without pissing off anyone else.

After school he slowly walks down the parking lot. He is in no hurry to go home, especially considering, Luke will be there.

“Alexander.”

Alec hearts skips a beat and he stops abruptly. Mr Bane catches up and puts his hand on Alec shoulder. It’s just a casual touch, too short to have any meaning, but Alec still feels an electric wave going down his spine. He turns around and for some ridiculous reason Mr Bane smiles at him, after Alec has been nothing but a jerk this morning.

“I think you lost something.”, Mr Bane says and he puts a small piece of paper in Alec's hand before he walks away without any further explanation.

Alec unfolds the paper carefully. It shows a drawing of some kind of cat that looks a lot like Alec.

_You’re cute when you’re grumpy. -Magnus_

A smile forms on his lips, He doesn’t understand why anyone would think him being an asshole is cute, but for some reason Mr Bane- Magnus- thinks that. And for a short second Alec wonders if Magnus is flirting with him an- NO-Mr. Bane is a teacher after all. He can’t possibly think of him that way.He probaly just wrote this because he felt sorry for him. Nothing more

Suddenly someone takes the note out of his hand. Of course, it’s Simon. Stupid, nosy Simon.

“Since when are you on first name basis with Mr. Bane? And why does he call you cute?”

“Why do you know his first name?”, Alec asks and Simons face turns red.

“If you’re trying to imply, I stalked his social media, found out his real name and accidently liked an really old picture showing him shirtless you’re totally wrong.”, Simon says.

Alec groans and takes the paper out of Simons hand again.

“Don’t tell me you’re in love with him?”, Alec says knowing Simon all too well. Every month he falls head over heels in love with someone, until everyone involved decides they are better off as friends. It’s how he met Clary and Maia.

Usually, Alec couldn’t care less, but for some reason he wants Simon to back off this time.

“If you make a move on Mr Bane, my father will hear about this.”, Alec says and he really has to hold back a laugh when he sees how Simon's eyes widen in fear.In this moment Alec is kinda glad his father is the principal.

“I was just kidding. I mean Magnus is not my type anyway. Really ugly, totally not hot at all.”, Simon stutters out.

“What?”, Alec asks somewhat threatingly. He feels personally offended by those words. How can anyone possibly say Magnus isn’t attractive?

“I- I just don’t know what you want me to say. Do you want me to say Mr Bane is hot or not?And now you're giving me the death stare again. Okay, Listen I’ll just go. Please don’t tell your dad? ”, Simon says before he turns around and awkwardly walks into the opposite direction.

Alec shakes his head, unsure about whether everyone around him is going crazy, or just himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone.  
> So what do you think? I already have a plot for every chapter but lets see if I have enough motivation. Love y'all.  
> Oh and I am on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/multifandomgurke) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Jallaine1?lang=de)  
> Come say hi!😊


End file.
